Thought of You
Sparkly friends, a quality yap, pheasant season.
Rach,
There’s something so delightful about having a parallel life experience to your friend in real time, despite living across the country and having completely separate lives. I’m talking about us emerging into the world, of course! Being so very back! Feeling the joie de vivre once again! Nothing brought me more happiness than coming home from the theatre to a 2 hour call with you, a truly quality yap about the many months that have passed and how much we are newly enjoying life. Brushing my teeth and listening to you discuss Talking Outside, tucking myself in hearing about your movies. A lovely little slice of life spent side-by-side through the phone line.
A recent trip to New York brought me out of my winter hibernation (somewhat embarrassingly espoused in my last letter). It was a gentle reminder of how much there is to read and do and see in this world—and was very needed. A reminder that I do, in fact, love to meet new people and talk to strangers! Utterly cliche, but it woke me up and gave me a smooth off-ramp from my much-needed and much-enjoyed winter time away from my brain. I visited some sparkly friends. Friends with whom I have a certain, “wherever we are is currently the center of the universe” energy. The quality time and presence lifted me and reminded me to try harder to foster that kind of energy in my life all the time. So, I've been reading and seeking and pushing myself socially just a tad as the skies get blue again and the world wakes up. I’m a little garden worm emerging from the dirt into weeks full of plans, grateful that springtime energy is coming earlier than usual this year.
Some things I have been enjoying that you would too:
Blob by Maggie Su. The half-asian protagonist of this book finds an amorphous blob and slowly turns it into her perfect boyfriend. Obviously you say “half asian girl in a midwestern college town” and I’m there, but this book is really kooky and funny and a twinge depressing in its exploration of a personal history and why we want to love who we love. The epitome of “it had everything to do with me and nothing to do with him” and I wish I wrote it.
I Who Have Never Known Men. Shouts to Matt for this rec, it is everywhere I look these days and a perfect little dystopian reflection on the essence of what it means to be a human. 40 women are locked in a bunker and they can’t really remember how they got there. One day the door swings open, and they have to figure out how to live.
On the Calculation of Volume. Beyond recalling your storied fight against volume, it feels like this was written specifically for us. There are seven slim volumes of this novel, an existential Scandinavian groundhog day where a woman is stuck in a hotel with her husband, living November 18th over and over again in an infinite “would you rather.” Beautifully written.
Erotica Veronica by Miya Folick. In this house we stan Miya. This album is the perfect next piece of work for her! I’m sure I will have more to say about this later, but I simply love and respect her so much and want everyone to listen to this. Putting it in writing here: these songs belong in one of your movies and I firmly believe Miya is going to write a song for something you make someday.
Have you been listening to the new Bon Iver? I feel silly for how much I love this song. I love it in a very specific, very 2012 way (I know you get it) and it really deserves a few minutes of your time as you stare into the middle distance. While we’re at it—so do this, and this, and this. I’ve been doing a lot of indulgent enjoying of quietly devastating music recently, which is how I know I’m actually well.
There’s a pheasant who lives in the downed, dead tree in my backyard and you already know, nothing has ever brought me more peace and happiness. Kel called me last week expressly to screech to me that she'd seen two pheasants flying toward her on her morning walk. We are blessed by the return of pheasant season.
Otherwise, I have been thinking about trying to build the muscles to sustain and withstand and resist—as Mad recently said to me, we are unfortunately at a 10. It is my year’s intention to incorporate acts of thoughtful living and resistance in my life that make the bigger ones feel more approachable. Working on that these days, and feeling optimistic in small ways even when it feels fraught.
Here’s to our little digital tin can phone line. Sent with love and looseness.
Stay Loose,
KA